The XBand!
by EE's Skysong
Summary: What if the Xmen started a band? This is that scenario! Some Jottbashing, romyness, and harmless teasing.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Marvel secretly owns the universe. Don't tell anyone I told you.  
  
(An: This was my most popular story on a different site. It's kind of wierd at the beginning, but it gets better, I promise!)  
  
The X-men were sitting around, feeling very bored.  
  
Logan had busted the tv when his favorite team had lost him a bet, the furniture was stuck to the ceiling because Jean had had another power surge, and Kurt had eaten all the food. It was a Saturday, no one was causing chaos, the Brotherhood and Acolytes weren't causing trouble, and no one was fighting.  
  
In other words, there was nothing to do.  
  
"Hey guys", said Bobby. "How 'bout we start a band?"  
  
Everyone just stared at Bobby.  
  
"Right Bobby," said Kurt, and turned to everyone else. "Has he had his medication today?"  
  
Everyone else, very seriously, shook their heads.  
  
"Right, then. SOMEONE GET THE STRAIGHT JACKET AND A FUNNEL!"  
  
"But seriously Bobby, why would you WANT to start a band?"  
  
"It'd be something to do, and just look around you. We REALLY need something to do." He made a sweep of the room with his hands. Everyone was very close to comatose.  
  
"But there are too many of us. Someone'd get left out, and, er, that's why the gamecube's smashed."  
  
"You know, he's got a point there."  
  
"You know, we could do something like Earth, Wind, and fire..."  
  
Everyone just stared at Kurt.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know, Earth, wind, and fire? It was a band in the 70's. There was a big thing about it in the Grammys."  
  
"So?"  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes. (which was rather interesting, since he didn't really have pupils.)  
  
"In that band, anyone who could play an instrument or sing pretty well was more or less in. We COULD do the same thing, you know.. Since there's so many of us."  
  
"Someone's got a point again."  
  
"Well it WOULD be something to do...."  
  
"YES! Score one for the Iceman!" He then began to dance around, (badly) singing "Oh yeah! Go Bobby! Go Bobby" (rinse and repeat)  
  
Everyone stared at Bobby.  
  
"Bobby, could you please stop that? My iq's low enough as it is, and I'd like to get out of highschool as soon as possible.." (Kurt said this) Bobby glared at him, but did stop.  
  
"What could we call it?"  
  
"Why not just the X-men? After all, it's who we are, and it's simple enough for Bobby to understand."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"So, like, who'd do what?", asked Kitty. "You know, like who'd play guitar, who'd do drums, stuff like that?"  
  
"I guess we should just have auditions, you know? The older X-men could judge. You just put your name down if you want in and put what you can do next to it. We'd only judge to make sure you could do what you signed up for fairly well." Scott nodded as he spoke, agreeing firmly with himself.  
  
"That sounds good."  
  
Jean floated a clipboard towards herself, and wrote down : X-man band auditions.  
  
"I'll put this on the table. Anyone who wants to sign up can."  
  
"Do you think professor X would mind?"  
  
"Probably not. After all, he's cool about the perpetual destruction we leave in our wake. The worst we can do is play loudly or badly."  
  
(an: So that was the first chappy. I combined 3 into one. Aren't I smart? .:grins:.) 


	2. The clipboard knows all!

Disclaimer: I own a ducky, but nothing else.  
  
(An: Ok, due to aaaall those requests, here's the lineup. (btw, the acolytes have joined the team. Just to make things simpler. Male lead: Scott a.k.a Cyclops (that guy's got a real leader complex.Also, he's an awful singer.) Male backup: Bobby and Sam a.k.a. Iceman and Cannonball. Female lead singer and guitar: Rogue Female backups: Amara, Jubilee and Rahne a.k.a Magma, Jubilee, and Wolfsbane. Drums: Kurt and John a.k.a Nightcrawler and Pyro. Dj:Jamie a.k.a Multiple. Backup guitars and bass: Ray, Roberto, Remy and Kitty, a.k.a Bezerker, Sunspot,Gambit, and Shadowcat. Strange, I know, but I had to TRY to put everyone in, or someone'd kill me. I JUST know they would. These were the requests on the other site, anyway.)  
  
THE NEXT DAY:  
  
Jean picked up the clipboard, and went and sat on a long table set up in the common room. The other judges (Kitty, Kurt, Rogue, and Scott) were sitting there too.  
  
"Ok," said Jean, reading from the clipboard. "First up is Amara, and she's trying for female backup singer."  
  
Amara walked up to the table, and began to sing "Lady Madonna" (sorry, all I could think of. It's rather ridiculous, though, don't ya think?) She had a nice voice, and was ok-ed into the posistion. She smiled, curtsied, and walked off.  
  
"Next, Rogue. She's trying for lead singer and guitarist." (sorry, I'm not very imaginitive.)  
  
Rogue stepped away from the judges table, and picked up a guitar and some sheet music. She began to sing (in a very haunting voice) Evenescance's "Going Under". (which is a very good song, btw. Nice and gothy. Chat lingo will soon consume me.) When she stopped, everyone stared, before breaking into thunderous applause.  
  
"Well, I really don't think we need to ask on that one." (Of course Rogue would make it. I already posted the listings, remember?)  
  
"Next, Jubilee. She's trying for backup."  
  
Jubilee walked up. She began to sing "My will". (Japanese song. Really good.) Her voice was high and slightly shaky, but everyone agreed it would be good for a descant for Rogue's lower one, which would sound really cool.  
  
Ok, right. Next up is Bobby. He's trying out for male backup. Everyone got their earplugs?" Everyone nodded. "Ok Bobby, fire away."  
  
Bobby walked up, and began to sing. He was awful, to put it lightly. He sang "Things just keep getting better", which, as you might imagine, made some people question his, er, status as it's the theme song for "Queer eye for the Straight Guy". (Which is a funny show, btw.) But, no one questioned putting him on, as no one sounds good singing that song, and no one felt like being iced.  
  
"Umm, ok then. Next up, Scott." She beamed at him, and Scott blushed. (Jeez, will those two ever stop beating around the bush?) No one had to ask what he was trying for.  
  
Scott walked up, and sang "I'm Too Sexy". There were a few snickers at that, as everyone knows it's a male model bashing song. (Everyone except Scott.) However, he was put on as well, as no one else felt like having to sit on Kentucky fried butt. (And all the other guys were too scared of getting time in the danger room to question him.)  
  
"Oh, you did so well, Scott," Jean gushed. "Next up, erm, Remy. He's trying for backup guitar." She raised her eyebrows at the crowd. (Get it? Rogue is lead and, I'll leave up to you to infer that. I can't make stupid jokes about the populace, since I REALLY HAVE NO IDEAS! Oh, btw, I put Remy on guitar cause it'd be cool, since he can make the guitar blow up at the end of the show. Cool huh?)  
  
Remy stood up, looking rather embarrassed. Jean's reaction had caused quite a few snickers in the watching crowd. He then began jamming on a REALLY cool guitar with card stuff on it. (You know, like aces, spades, diamonds, that kinda thing?) Needless to say, he was REALLY good. (Bow in awe of the greatest guy known to woman!) Also needless to say, he got the part. (This put a very sastified smile on Rogue's face.)  
  
"Kitty's next. She's going for... Bass guitar? Not what I thought you would've picked Kitty." Kitty shrugged as she walked past Jean.  
  
She then proceeded to rock out (I'm really trying here) to applause. She (Of course.) got the part.  
  
"Sam's up. He's going for backup singer."  
  
Sam stepped up, looking kinda nervous.  
  
"Go Sam!" said Rahne from the back.  
  
He grinned at her, then began to sing. He sang "Scarbarough Fair" (Simon and Garfunkel. Why do I bother?) really well, to lots of applause. Needless to say, he got the part. (These auditions are fixed, remember?)  
  
"Next up, Rahne. She's going for backup singer. Good luck Wolfie!"  
  
Rahne stepped up from the back and Sam quickly took her place. She sang "Hungry Like The Wolf", and at the end changed into one and howled accompaniment. She also got the part.  
  
"That was great Rahne. Next up, John AND Kurt. They're doing a "Drum Duel"."  
  
Kurt and John stepped up, and set up their drum sets. They then proceeded to duel. John would play something, then Kurt would copy it. They ended up doing a really cool duet, still copying each other. They got the parts. (Duh!)  
  
"Umm, Jamie's next. He's trying for DJ."  
  
Jamie stepped up, and did a really KEWL (think surfer) version of "Double Trouble". (Which sucks, which explains why it was such an achievement.) As he was the only one trying for DJ, of course he got the part.  
  
"Uh oh,"said Jean. "Er, Ray and Roberto are doing a lead and bass guitar duet. HIDE!" Everyone proceeded to hide under the table. "Go ahead, go ahead then."  
  
Ray and Roberto (What say we call him "Rob" from here on out?) stepped up, glaring I-hate-you-and-after-this-I'm-gonna-kill-you-but-right-now-I'm- gonna-pretend-I-like-you glares of death. Despite this, they sounded REALLY cool until the end, when they had a fight, and everyone ended up smoking. (As in charred flesh smoking.) Unfortunately, they got the parts.  
  
(So dat's dat. If you want the other site, it's the fanfic section of , the community section. Yes, I am dat skysong.) 


	3. Rehearsal run while there's still time!

Disclaimer: Hmmm, let's spin the wheel-of-fun and see what I own... bip, bip, bip! Ding, Ding, Ding! Survey says: Absolutely NOTHING!  
  
(an: Ok, since Rogue is lead singer, I'm gonna go with goth genre, and pick EVENESCENCE! (It helps I've got the cd.) Also, I don't do accents because it just looks like bad spelling.)  
  
THE NEXT DAY:  
  
Everyone was in the garage. Logan was sitting in a corner, with earplugs in his ultra-sensitive ears.  
  
"Shit. I can't believe I agreed to do this. Chuck's gonna owe me SO much.." He continued to mutter in this fashion, until someone tapped the mic, causing LOUD feedback and making Logan whimper in pain.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow.."  
  
That someone was Jean.  
  
"Note to self," muttered Logan. "Kill Red. Painfully. Ow."  
  
Jean was still trying to maintain some kind of leadership status, and continued to tap the mic, until Logan's eardrums (and everyone else's) were threatining to explode, and everyone had shut up.  
  
"Umm, ok, sorry bout that, er, now Rogue's gonna pass the sheet music around."  
  
"Why isn't Scott deciding that?" asked a very annoying person in the back row.  
  
"Because he doesn't wanna end up dead," growled Rogue. "Right, Scott?" She asked this very scarily and while taking off her glove.  
  
Scott didn't answer, just cowered by his mic, and whimpered in fear.  
  
(Rogue is a very scary person. But also very cool.)  
  
Rogue then began passing around some sheet music.  
  
"Ok, I was up all night working this out, so everyone had better do good!"  
  
Everyone looked at the music. It was adapted versions of "Haunted".  
  
(I just HAD to use that, because 1, I'm listening to it right now, 2, it's a REALLY good song, 3, it's been stuck in my head for the past month and a half (which is very harrowing, btw.) and 4, I did a very sucky songfic on it once.)  
  
"Well, this doesn't look too bad. Bit too punk for my tastes though" said Scott, who then screamed a very girly scream because Rogue was slowly walking closer, and she was taking off her glove again.  
  
"Well, don't worry about it, oh great leader, because you only have backup anyway."  
  
There was loud feedback at first (much to Logan's dismay) when everyone plugged in, then (more to Logan's dismay) there was more noise as everyone just practiced a bit. This got Rogue very mad because no one (except Remy and Scott, who was still cowering in a corner) was listening to her. (She may hate the "ESTABLISHMENT" but she loves to be in charge.)  
  
"Hey!" No one listened.  
  
"I said, HEY!" Everyone listened.  
  
"Come on guys, we need a little order here.", interuppted Jean, who was then ran over by ice, a wolf, Cannoballed, and zapped by Rogue so she'd shut up for a while. (I'd think 'poor Jean' but, that would mean I actually CARED, and I DON'T! Sorry to all you Jean lovers.. Wait, that booth is empty. Seems to have been so for a while... Maybe that's cause Jean DIED and good riddens to bad rubbish. Ahem. Sorry bout that, needed to get it out of my system.)  
  
"Ok then. Now, does anyone have any objections to my COMPLETE AND UTTER LEADERSHIP of this band from now on?" No one did anything, because Rogue, while saying this, had been slowly taking off her gloves. No one wanted to suffer the same fate as Jean. (Who was lying in a very pathetic heap. Maybe I should relent... NAH!) Rogue smiled sweetly. "That's all right then."  
  
Everyone slowly backed away from Rogue.  
  
"Now, we need to get to work. Bass, you start." Rob and Kitty began playing, but both were kinda shaky, because Rogue was giving everyone in the room patented glares-of-death and it was VERY scary.  
  
Then Rogue walked over to the backup guitars (Ray and Remy), and worked with them. Surprisingly, as creepy as Rogue is, (and I mean that in the best possible way) she was a really good leader. (Vote for Rogue, the X- men's future!)  
  
Finished with that, she dealt with the female backups, who weren't as scared as everyone else. (The Rogue puts fear into the hearts of mortal men. Not women.) She then dealt with everyone else. (Except the male singers. She knew they'd listen to her, without complaint.)  
  
"Right then. Now we try it together, OK?" Everyone nodded meekly.  
  
Logan, still sitting in the corner, was whimpering in fear and pain. (To snap, or not to snap? All you people out there, that's your cue!)  
  
To put it lightly, the first try didn't go over too well.  
  
Logan screamed like a little girl.  
  
To put it strongly, they were awful. All the noise woke up Jean, who rose, and began trying to regain control.  
  
"Come on guys, you can do better than that!" Rogue then turned her glare-of- death (patent pending) on Jean. However, Jean's psychic powers make her immune to that kinda thing. (Or maybe she's just stupid. Survey says: Yup, it's stupid.)  
  
"Ok," said Rogue, who was now glaring at everyone, " Let's try that again. John, GET IN RYTHM! Your time is what the bass depends on! And if the bass messes up, the whole song's off. From the top!"  
  
They tried again. And again. And again. Finally, Rogue sighed.  
  
"Well, everyone's messed up AT LEAST once. Maybe this time everyone'll get it right. From the top!"  
  
This time, there weren't any mistakes. (I think it had something to do with the fact that Rogue was too focused on her part this time to glare at everyone.)  
  
"Well, guys, I think we've really made progress. Rehearsal's over! You can go back to your pathetic little lives!"  
  
(Another three chappie combo. .:pants:. I've been working overtime. But it's worth it! At least, it will be if you review! .:hint hint:.) 


	4. Logan Snaps!

Disclaimer: What? I DON'T own the X-men? opens closet door Ok, outta my closet!  
  
(an: Oooook, here we go again. Uh, still open to suggestions, but I will have the X-men get booked. As you may've guessed by the title, I have decided to MAKE LOGAN NUTS, as they don't show his berzerk side often enough in Evo. .:insert mad laughter:.)  
  
1 MONTH LATER:  
  
The X-men (the band, not the crime fighters, although it's pretty much the same.) had been practicing Haunted, and lots of other nice gothy songs, (since Rogue still had COMPLETE AND UTTER CONTROL! .:insert mad laughter:.) and they were actually getting pretty good.  
  
However, just to torture him, Professor X (who can be, now that I think about it, pretty mad as well.) still had Logan watching the sessions, to make sure Rob and Ray didn't kill and/or maim themselves or anybody else.  
  
Logan, however, couldn't put up with much more of this. His ears ached constantly, and he went around with "Lady Madonna" stuck in his head ALL day ever since he heard Amara sing it at the auditions. (Which was enough torture for ANYONE. Believe me, I know. .:shudders:.)  
  
So (as you may've guessed by the title) one day Logan just couldn't take any more. But we'll get to that in a sec. First I need to add some hilarity to this chapter.  
  
20 MINUTES TO BLOWUP:  
  
Rogue was sick that day, so Scott and Jean were actually in charge for once. (Yup, had to do it. There are way more Rogue fans then there are Jott fans, and I just don't feel like dying today. Anyway, the crowd is getting restless. I'll be dead soon enough. .:gulps and begins to write will:. And besides, I like Rogue too.)  
  
Since they were in charge, things were quite different. For instance, Jean was replacing (Temporarily of course) Rogue as lead singer, and she and Scott were doing a duet. What song, you ask? "The Power Of Love", of course. (Thank you Diamond!)  
  
Everyone else was quietly trying to slip away, during a Jott make-out session, because they knew enough about Logan to realize that he was in a very fragile mental state. (What with the hallucinations, the screaming- like-a-little-girl, and the whimpering in corners. And of course the fact that he was walking around humming random Beatle's tunes all day long.)  
  
Logan was currently sitting in the corner of the garage closest to his beloved motorcycle, humming Yellow Submarine. (A very, very bad sign. But a very, very good song.) The professor had told him to sit there, (Or it could've been a little voice in his head. Same difference though.) in the hopes that the motorcycle would stabelize him.  
  
To put it lightly, it wasn't working.  
  
To put it strongly, it wasn't working at all.  
  
10 MINUTES TO BLOWUP:  
  
Jean and Scott had wasted 10 minutes of practice more or less just making out. Everyone was staring, because none of them had ever seen ANYONE kiss that long. Some of the randier (and rather hopeless) boys were taking notes, and the girls were betting on when they'd come up for air. Sam and Bobby were discussing whether or not they had just passed out like that.  
  
5 MINUTES TO BLOWUP:  
  
Jean and Scott were still going strong. (Kinda like that Energizer bunny. They just keep going and going, in more than one way. Except neither of them had ANY musical talent to speak of whatsoever.)  
  
1 MINUTE TO BLOWUP:  
  
Jean and Scott had finally stopped.  
  
"Ok, everybody, you got the music, lets get started." The band began to play. Softly at first, but they would get louder.  
  
30 SECONDS TO BLOWUP:  
  
Logan was getting tense. Very tense.  
  
10:  
  
The music was getting steadily louder.  
  
9:  
  
Logan was getting upset.  
  
8:  
  
Jean and Scott were making out again, but the band went on without them.  
  
7:  
  
Logan began to rock back and forth.  
  
6:  
  
Jean and Scott were winding down, as it was getting closer to their cue.  
  
5:  
  
Logan began to hum louder.  
  
4:  
  
Jean and Scott broke off and went to their mics.  
  
3:  
  
Logan began to whimper.  
  
2:  
  
Jean and Scott cleared their throats.  
  
1:  
  
Jean and Scott began to sing the worst and loudest version of "The Power Of Love", that was ever sung. (Which was quite an achievement, as that song's complete crap.)  
  
BLAST OFF !  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
That was it, Logan had snapped. It was all he could take.  
  
Everyone dropped their instruments. Jean and Scott didn't seem to notice, as they were making out, AGAIN. Everyone began to run.  
  
(an: Ok, the scene of carnage that followed was unmatched in anything. I really can't describe it, because somewhere in all that mess (people screaming and running, furniture being destroyed, ya know, the norm around the institute.) the Brotherhood showed up, and erm, Logan began to rip people apart. The only ones he didn't get to were Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, as I like them, and Quicksilver was too fast and the Witch too powerful. To make a long story short, the Scarlet Witch used her power to affect probabability fields and changed the probability of Logan going back to normal (which was about 100,000,000,000,000:1) and made it 1:1 so it would actually happen. (Hey, even the Witch can be ripped apart.) So everything was ok. More or less.)  
  
THE NEXT DAY:  
  
Logan walked into the kitchen. Everyone quickly turned away. Logan (the great, unfeeling one) was clearly embarrassed. But no one cared about that. All they cared about was the week and a half of punishment duty they had to do since they'd pushed Logan so far. (Even though it was really the professor's fault.)  
  
(Long enough for ya?) 


	5. Getting booked and rehearsal!

Disclaimer: .:looks around:. Nope. Now that those pesky mutants are out of my closet, I can't even pretend I own Marvel.  
  
(An: I'm finally starting to get an actual plot for this! And, .:drum roll please:., the X-men, will.... GET BOOKED, in THIS CHAPTER! .:GASP:. Not much in the way of evilness, you say? Well just you wait... .:insert evil laughter:.)  
  
2 WEEKS LATER:  
  
The X-men were just sitting around, again, because Logan had wrecked their instruments. He had declared doing so an "act of God", and therefore wouldn't relent. So they were pretty bored, as the replacements Professor X had ordered hadn't arrived yet. So everyone was very bored.  
  
THE NEXT DAY:  
  
The next day was a school day, so everyone was at .:gasp:. school. Rogue was just slamming her locker shut, when, wonder of wonders, she was approached by Taryn. (I just picked Taryn because she's the only one vapid enough for the job.)  
  
"What. Do. You. Want?" (Rogue said this nice and slow, so Taryn, with her small brain, could understand.)  
  
"I just wanted to know if you'd, like, have your band of FREAKS, like, play at the Halloween Dance next weekend. All the NORMAL bands are booked."  
  
Rogue considered this. Although normally she wouldn't pay the slightest attention to the "popular" crowd, this WAS a chance for her band to get ahead, and get payed. On the other hand, this meant she would have to AGREE, COOPERATE, and otherwise SOCIALIZE, which she, as a proper goth, would, of course, never consider doing. She was about to say no, when, out of nowhere, the other members of her band showed up, and answered for her.  
  
"We accept!"  
  
"Like, that's ok then."  
  
AFTER SCHOOL:  
  
Rogue was fuming. To think, that HER band had gone behind her back, and ACCEPTED! Although there was the simple fact that, being mutants, this was the only way they could get into the dance. But STILL!!! They would pay at practice. She would see to that. insert southeren accented evil laughter here  
  
"Ok, you guys, I've composed a new song for us to do. But first," Rogue walked over to where Scott and Jean were having one of their infamous never- ending make-out sessions. Rogue took off her gloves.  
  
Everyone else slowly backed away.  
  
Rogue zapped Scott and Jean. They collapsed in a heap on the floor near Logan, who was back on watch. (He was back to normal, or as normal as Logan could be. He had bought extra-powerful earplugs and was feeling much better. The band was also playing much better.)  
  
"What're y'all staring at? Get back to work!" (Thank you John!)  
  
The band did the intro, then Rogue began to sing.  
  
I'm just another face in the crowd Like everyone else FAITHLESS guilty Guilty by association They assume I am Therefore I MUST be DON'T act like you know me You can't even see me I'm just another face in the crowd Blinded Blinded by hatred Can you hear me now Am I speaking clear enough for you Are you defended by the sound The sound of them screaming in your head All I have to offer is the truth And the promise to do what I can If I should EVEN try Try to fly and escape the torch DON'T ask me for reassurance Don't turn to me for hope I'm not interested I'm just another face in the crowd  
  
interlude  
  
For all it's worth My life isn't worth a thing Can you see me now Standing up here Way up here Ready to jump from up here Now am I just another face in the crowd Or am I the face that makes the crowd a crowd Can you see me now Can you hear me now Can you feel me now Do I have your attention NOW SHUT UP!  
  
more interlude  
  
Feel the warmth Feel the calm As I come closer My heart restarts I have one, I know He makes me understand How to live Why to live He treats me like a queen A queen of darkness I'm NOT just another face in the crowd  
  
Still more interlude (Pretty long song, pretty short fic.)  
  
There he is Is he looking Did he see me Why's he looking Here he comes Getting closer What do I do Do I tell him I love him Yes I should I will But not today Tommorow But never today  
  
Song fades out  
  
(an: This was borrowed from "Shut up", and not changed at all, just with less typos and put into lyric form. Thank you Mayleen!)  
  
Rogue stepped away from her mic.  
  
"Wow Rogue," said Kitty, "That was, like, really good."  
  
Rogue shrugged.  
  
"Whatever." She grinned evily.  
  
The band went over the rest of their songs, and practice ended. Everyone was feeling slightly suspicious, (Except for Scott and Jean, as they were still comatose. Even if they weren't, I highly doubt they would've cared anyway. Think Jott.) as Rogue hadn't glared at them at all, complained about their performance, or killed them for accepting the dance offer, as it had been clear if she'd made the decision, it would've been a no-go.  
  
(An: Next chap, Rogue's revenge! This is another combo since my compu wouldn't let the first half just stand alone like it was supposed to. .:shrugs:. Whatever.) 


	6. AS PROMISED: Rogue's Revenge!

Disclaimer: Right now, all I own is some very tasty fries. (My roomate went nuts and went all Kentucky fried goodness on my duck.) .:Crowd grabs at my fries:. MY FRIES!  
  
(AN: Nobody worry about feeling like an idiot. Everyone feels like an idiot when reading the humor section. (I miss my duck. =( Although it really was quite tasty.) Anyway, here you go... The moment you've all been waiting for... I give you, the one, the only, as promised... ROGUE'S REVENGE!!!! I had some throat drops so guess what you can do now.. .:insert evil laughter:.!!!)  
  
RIGHT WHERE I LEFT OFF:  
  
As practice was over everyone began to pack up, and file out. No one noticed as Rogue went around, whispered in a few people's ears, who then quickly exited, and re-zapped Scott and Jean who were coming to. She needed their powers anyway.  
  
Rogue looked around. The few people she had told to get-while-the-getting- was-good had left. (Namely Kurt, Kitty, Sam, Rahne, Jubilee, Remy, Pyro, and Jamie.)  
  
"Excellent.", she murmured. "Now, on with THE PLAN!!!" .:insert southeren accented crazed-with-power-and-oh-so-evil laughter:.  
  
Everyone else had packed up, and were heading towards the door. Using Scott's powers, Rogue welded the door shut.  
  
Everyone stopped dead, and turned to face Rogue slowly.  
  
"Rogue, what are you doing?", asked Bobby. "Remember, we're your friends?"  
  
"Oh, no you ain't!", said Rogue, steaming mad now. "All of my friends (Except for Kurt, who she pardoned being fictionally related to him.) just went out that door. Y'all are my enemies, as you accepted that bi-yatch (Think the movie "The New Guy". If you haven't seen, go do so. It is the funniest movie on the planet, but for maybe the American pie series.)Taryn's offer! Y'all knew that I woulda said no!!! But no, you betray me, go behind my back, and ACCEPT!! For that, y'all, if not die, will writhe in the torment of my wrath!!!" .:more southeren accented evil laughter:.  
  
She then used Jean's telekinetic powers to move all the vehicles (including Logan's motorcycle, which he happened to be sitting on at the time, humming placidly, murmering that he loved his bikey, completely oblivious to the situation.) in front of the garage doors, so now there was no escape!!!  
  
After a few minutes of evil laughter, Rogue stopped.  
  
"Well, what're ya'll waiting for? WRITHE IN TORMENT, AND BEG FOR MY MERCY!!!!!!!!"  
  
To make a long (and rather gory) story short, everyone was soon writhing in torment.  
  
(The long story? Do I have to? Er, well, see, Rogue zapped Logan (Who really didn't seem to notice, for some reason, he just went on rubbing his motorcycle, saying he loved it and everything was all right. Erm, yeah.) to get his bezerker rage. (She was mad, but not THAT mad. In both senses of the word.) She then went on a rampage, not wrecking anything but people's mental health, torturing people with either a) blackmail, b) comedy records and other sources of pyschical and mental pain, c) zapping them, or d) all of the above. Mostly d, though.  
  
Rogue looked around, feeling very pleased with herself, even though the Jean-psyche was railing her with a lecture, and the Scott-psyche was investigating her personal things. (Er, think gross, Rogue with her skirt off. Not pretty. To a girl, at least.)  
  
Rogue gave an evil grin, and went upstairs to join her brother in bugging Kitty about nothing in general.  
  
(Sorry, not long or funny. I will have more hilarity in the next chapter, I promise!!!) 


	7. The Dance! And a New Plot Device!

Disclaimer: W00t, I really don't care any more!! I just wanna write! (I have no idea what "w00t" means, but it's fun to say!!)  
  
(an: Ok, this is the DANCE, and you finally get to see that genius plot I've been, well, plotting for the last (what was it?), maybe, a month or something? You are all SO lovely!! I'm in a good mood today, so no evil laughter! (I'm so happy I can't even be sarcastic!! Which is very strange. I'm calling a shrink. This is not normal.) )  
  
1 WEEK LATER:  
  
Everyone had by now recovered from Rogue's, er, incident, and the blackmail had long since blown over. Gossip is a fickle weapon. It was the day of the .:gasp:. dance, and everyone, except Rogue, and, uh, nope, only Rogue, was very, very, very excited. (Rogue had a very good reason to be mad. Her revenge hadn't went well. After all, her threats and blackmail had blown over in a WEEK.)  
  
"I need better dirt," muttered Rogue as she slammed her locker shut. "But all the gossip is so vapid my mind floats off without warning. Arrgh."  
  
The day went by SLOOOOWLY, oh so SLOOOOWLY, and everyone suspected the clocks weren't working. (It's a conspiracy, it really is. I'm putting out for an inquiry.) Anyway, the day eventually did end, and everyone went home, feeling happy, and all fizzy with excitement. (Which is exactly how I'm feeling right now!! Hmm. Something MUST be out of sorts.)  
  
6:00, AND THE DANCE!!!!:  
  
At 6:00, the band members, which were pretty much everyone in the institute, left for the school. They set up, warmed up, and basically wasted time, until people showed up. They then started into an inspired chorus of "Kiss Him Goodbye", by Steam. (A very old 70's song. I have no idea why I picked it, except that it was in a book I read recently, and it's also a very good song.)  
  
"Na na na na Na na na na Hey hey hey Goodbye"  
  
Unfortunately they only got that far, because 1, I only know that much of the song, and 2, the official reason, the Brotherhood was rapping on the window, trying to get their attention. (No, that isn't my devious plot. That's not devious at all. That's just.. stupid.) Everyone, except Jamie, ran out, leaving a hastily scrawled note on the mic. The assistant principal stepped up, and read it.  
  
"The band says: Sorry about this, but we're currently experiencing technical difficulties. Our drummer has snapped due to a fire downtown in his line of sight. Anyway, we'll be back in a few, preferably with our drummer in a straight-jacket, but until then, our dj will be taking requests. Thank You! The X-men." (Kitty wrote the note, because she has really good handwriting, and I picked John, cause he's the only one likely to snap under such non-stressful conditions.)  
  
BACK TO THE BAND:  
  
Anyway, the band ran outside, hastily changing into costumes and whatever else it is they do to get ready for battle. (Ok, I know I had most of the B- hood killed off a few chapters ago, but thanks to powerful underground elfin (No, not like Kurt.) magic, they are all back to life. And Wanda isn't there, because I want the X-men to win. Just needed to add some, erm, excitement!! Uh, yeah, we'll just go with that.)  
  
They ran to the parking lot, fully dressed, except for Jean and Scott, who were still making out. (You know, the whole, if-I-die-today-I-just-want-you- to-know-that-I-love-you crap.) But they managed to tear apart from each other so Scott could take the lead.  
  
"Ok, you! There! Rogue, get behind Jean! SOMEONE RESTRAIN PYRO!!!!" For, you see, there really had been a fire downtown. Erm, you get the idea... Scott continued his tough-guy stuff, and everyone continued to do their ignore-him-he's-an-idiot-with-a-leader-complex stuff. Except for the "restrain Pyro" part. That dude can be really creepy when he's crazy. (.:shudders:.)  
  
Anyway, it turned out it wasn't necessary to listen to Scott anyway, because Rogue just zapped him to get him to shut up. She then regained TOTAL AND COMPLETE CONTROL of the band and otherwise. She got Jean to stop sobbing over Scott's prone form long enough to deal with Quicksilver so she could zap him, then zapped Jean. She then started running really really fast and knocked all of the rest of the Brotherhood out. Everyone else was too busy dealing with Pyro to help. (And there's the fact that Rogue is THE SUPREME POWER behind the X-men, band and otherwise.  
  
They then dashed back inside. Jamie looked rather miffed when the band returned. He was very happy being in the spotlight, which happens, um, never? Anyway, they continued to play right where they left off, and everything was OK! (Um, as ok as ok can be in the X-men. Which is not very, considering.) So the rest of the dance went really, really well, and um, yeah.  
  
After the dance, everyone was leisurely walking back towards the institute, when someone happened (I control them, remember? .:insert evil and crazed- with-power laughter:. It's just so much fun, being in control!!!) to spy (PLOT DEVICE ALERT!!!) a poster advertising (.:Drum roll and dramatic music, please:.) The Battle Of The Bands!!!  
  
(Well, there you have it. The dance, the B-hood, and a plot device all in one chapter. Fun fun. =D) 


	8. Pyro's Night on the Town!

Disclaimer: W00t!! I could care less!!! (Sorry, very hyper this afternoon!!)  
  
(An: Ok, I present to you, PYRO'S NIGHT ON THE TOWN!!! Or what really happened to Pyro in chap. 14 or whatever!!! I was just gonna do this as another fic, but it's funnier to put this here!!! Don't you just LOVE exclamation points??? W00t!!! =D (Yeah, see I'm really jacked up on caffeine and all yakity-smakity!!! Sorry if this chap. doesn't make sense! But then, Pyro makes no sense either!! So that's OK then!!!) Yup, I'm nuts, aren't I? That's ok then! This is my fav chappy, for reasons unknown!)  
  
FLASHBACK SEQUENCE IN 3  
  
2  
  
1  
  
=FLASHBACK=  
  
Remember (And you should, it was only a chapter ago) when I said Pyro really did snap? Well, I didn't mention the fact that Pyro (For he really was Pyro now, what with the fire-in-his-line-of-sight and everything. The question is, is Pyro Pyro, or is John the true Pyro? Of course that means that John is insane, like Pyro, and before I go off on a tangent, here's the actual story!!) had escaped the X-men's clutches and ran and ran and ran (And I ra-a-an, I ran so far away!!) towards the fire, all the while changing into his Pyro costume. (Which re-eally was not a pleasant sight, and as he ran the way half naked, and not the shirtless kind, he got the police set upon him. But that's for later.) Anyway, when he arrived at the fire, it was blazing out of control, and the firemen were just concentrating on getting out of there with their pubic hair intact. (Think "Ahhhh!! Oh-my-god my beep's on fire!!")  
  
"RELAX GUYS!! I'LL SAVE YOU!!!" After sending the blaze into "oh no, there's no hope!!" status, he jubilantly shouted, "NOTTTT!!!" For you see, the REAL Pyro, the sane, thinking sanely Pyro (If there ever was such a thing) was buried, deeeep inside his brain (Once again, if there ever WAS such a thing) and was the only part of him protesting this. Now, if he were Rogue (And if he WERE Rogue, jeez, how lezzy would that seem? And if he were Rogue that would mean Rogue would be Pyro. Hmm. I smell a story... A twisted, yet very funny story) then all the other psyche's (Remember, he's Rogue. Eeeww.) he'd absorbed would be railing him about this, saying it's morally wrong, blah, blah, blah. But he's NOT Rogue, so that's that. (Thank you!!!) Anyway, (I'll try not to go on any more tangents, shall I?) Pyro was laughing, maniacly, of course, and shouting about how great he was, blah, blah, blah, business as usual, when the police showed up. Finally. You'd think they'd have no problem finding a fire that was, oh, for the sake of speculation, let's say, 1000 STORIES TALL!!!  
  
So anyway, the police showed up, and stayed in their little cars for a few minutes, watching Pyro destroy the city.  
  
=MEANWHILE, AT THE DANCE=  
  
Rogue looked out the window.  
  
"Should we go stop him?"  
  
"Nope. Not our problem."  
  
=BACK TO PYRO=  
  
After a heated discussion of who should be a hero and stop the crazy blighter, a very fat cop, known only as "Hey you, with the donut", was shoved out of his car and told to deal with him. After a heated protest of "Me?!?!", he pulled up his volumenous uniform, and headed towards the heart of the blaze. Now as you may have guessed, poor Mr. "Hey you, with the donut", was not very smart. He stepped directly toward Pyro, and tapped him on the shoulder. But Pyro was busy, too busy to deal with some cop who was the scapegoat and not important enough to this story to have an actual name. So he just sent a little flame-kitty to destroy him, while Pyro worked on destroying the city at large. Mr. "Hey you, with the donut" never had a chance. (Oooh. Not pretty. .:shudders:.)  
  
"Mr, could ya please stop destroying our town?", asked a little girl at Pyro's side. Now, if I were a, let's say, normal person, I would have Pyro's heart melt, and him listen to the little girl, and everything would be OK! BUT, I'm NOT a normal person, so this is what REALLY happened: Pyro laughed maniacly and engulfed the little girl in flames. (.:sniffs:. Pyro is a sicko. Sad but true. Also not pretty.)  
  
So Pyro continued to destroy the town. He probably would've destroyed the whole town in this fashion, if it weren't for the fact that a particularly bangin' "sheila" tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey you!!! Would ya, like, totally quit it? That's my gang's place!! We can't afford anywhere else!!" She indicated other particularly bangin' sheilas, who were standing behind her.  
  
Now Pyro was never one to refuse a sheila.  
  
=DAWN THE NEXT DAY=  
  
Pyro woke up with one helluva hangover inside the building he'd trashed. He'd stopped destroying the city for a promised "discount" on an orgy with the bangin' sheilas. (Even if he hadn't stopped, the city probably would've been fine the next day anyway. You know how it is on evo. Nothing stays trashed for more than a half-hour.)  
  
"Owww. All that.." He smiled, remembering the night before. "Ahh... Hey, where's my wallet?" He rolled over in bed, to see a warm, and surprisingly hard, lump beside him. He grinned, and poked it, hoping it was one of the sheilas he'd met last night. The figure groaned, and a flat head appeared out of it. A particularly familiar metal-covered hand poked him back.  
  
"I have some explaining to do, don't I?", asked a Russian accented voice. (Don't kill me!! I'm not making him gay!! It was a foursome. Need I say more?)  
  
(Yup, so that's Pyro's night on the town. Anyway, he had to hitchhike his way home, if you were wondering.) 


	9. Pyro's Return and Discussions

Disclaimer: Yup. Marvel's psycho. No, not like Jean.  
  
(An: Ok, yeah, I know that last chap. was really wierd, but like I said, I was sooo totally hyper then. I'm better now though. Hopefully. Anyway, I LIKED the last chapter. Didn't I mention I have a very sick mind? Yup. Ok, so tell me if you got any ideas for... THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!! (You'll have to imagine the deep announcer-ish voice.) So now that my evil plot's in the open, I'm just waiting for feedback here. grins)  
  
Everyone was sitting in the common room. The prof' had pulled the plug on the band, for now anyway, while he got Logan some serious mental treatment. (Yeah, old joke, I know. Had to play some card for PYRO'S DRAMATIC ENTRANCE, though. Ahh. Being in control is SOOO wonderful.)  
  
There was a thud, a crash, and a very loud scream.  
  
Everyone turned to the door. Then they turned right back.  
  
"Just Scott and Jean passing out from lack of air again. No worries." (Yup, had to put that in there. Jott bashing is just so much FUN!)  
  
Then the door opened.  
  
Pyro staggered in, his clothes equally ripped and burned, his face covered in lipstick, and old beer on his breath. Colossus was close behind, trying feverishly to explain something. (Did I forget to mention he joined the X- men too? The team, not the band.)  
  
"Ahh, come on, I told you it wasn't my fault!"  
  
"Ahh, just shut up, mate! It's your fault those sheilas showed up, isn't it?"  
  
"Well, um, yeah, I guess."  
  
"So then it IS your fault. End of story." Pyro stormed into the common room and plopped down on the couch. Everyone ignored him, as they were used to him doing that kinda thing. (You know, being gone all night, and ending up arguing with Colossus about sex? Yeah, that does tend to happen a lot.)  
  
Rogue walked in then. "Band meetin' in five!" she called.  
  
=FIVE MINUTES LATER, THE GARAGE=  
  
The X-men (The band this time) were sitting in the garage, waiting for Rogue to show up. Apparently, she was going to discuss the Battle of The Bands with them. She walked into the room, doing her usual glare-of-death at everyone present. (Except Kurt, Kitty, and Remy. .:nudge, nudge, wink, wink:.)  
  
"Ok, first order of business. Pyro's "night on the town." (Think Doctor Evil from Austin Powers. You know, the finger thing?) Pyro, what have we told you about destroying the town?"  
  
John shifted in his seat.  
  
"The town is public property. NOT mine to destroy."  
  
"Very good. Second order of business." She whipped out a poster advertising (.:drum roll, please:.) the BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!! "Who wants to do this?" Every single hand went up. "That's settled then." She looked over at Scott, who had his hand up. "What?!?"  
  
"You know what I think?", asked Scott cheerfully. He farted, then grinned.  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes, then went over and zapped him.  
  
"Third order of business. Who wants to shove Scott and Jean off a cliff?" Every hand went up, except for Scott and Jean's.  
  
"Right. That's settled then. Now that that's out of the way, you can all go back to your pathetic little lives. I have work to do." (.:insert southern accented evil laughter:.)  
  
(Yup. 'Nother shortie. Still just filler.) 


	10. Jean's pov

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Since I can't watch evo, I JUST DON'T CARE!!!!!  
  
(AN:Right then, I've been bored lately, and I've missed doing this muchly. (Tear, tear. sniff) SOOO, the moment you've been waiting for since February, but first, INSERT EVIL LAUGHTER!!!)  
  
=RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF= It was chaos as usual at the Xavier Institute. The prof had finally gotten word about what Rogue was doing to Jean and Scott. ( Allow me to introduce here a little thing called deceptive maneuvering. I think the professor is stupid, but this is going to be from gasp, gag, ect. Jean's POV so I can have some justification for torturing her, Scott, Professor X, and anybody else I don't like! So therefore I can feel good about myself while totally killing Jean and Scott.)  
  
=JEAN'S POV STARTING (PREPARE YOURSELF FOR EXTREME PREPPINESS AND SUCH IN =  
  
3  
  
2  
  
1!  
  
Ok, so I was sitting there, totally ignoring all those around me because no one currently in the room was perfect enough. I brushed my hair, listened in on Bobby's x-rated thoughts (Since Scott refuses to do it until he's married, this is my only way to get my fix, if ya know what I mean.) and generally did everything within my intelligence level. (Yeah, that's about it.)  
  
So then, Rogue comes back from wherever she was with my darling Scott. So I get mad, see. Really mad, see. So I was just about to blow up and totally kill Rogue, when she dropped Scott. I rushed over to his side and doted on him for a while, until the GREAT BALD ONE entered and started telling Rogue off for basically being Rogue. During that time, I was cheering him on, while making sure Scott had the best ahem view possible.  
  
Then the professor announced that Scott and I were gonna go on a little trip! YAY!!! So I ran upstairs and got all prepped up and levitated back downstairs. I wanted people to feel jealous, see, prep and little slut that I am.  
  
=20 MINUTES LATER=  
  
It felt like we'd been driving for hours. That was only because Scott wouldn't make out with me. Hmph.  
  
"GREAT BALD ONE, where are we going?"  
  
"Don't call me bald," growled a familiar and scary FEMALE?!? voice from the drivers seat. IT WAS MYSTIQUE!! "My dear, darling Roguey and my even dearer darlinger Kurt asked me to drive you off a cliff! Ah, we're here!"  
  
=BACK TO MY NARRATIVE=  
  
So, all's well that end's well. Scott and Jean got dropped off a cliff by Mystique, who, in return, got an entire day with her dysfunctional family.  
  
(Just in case, I'd like to mention here that for all points and purposes, Jean and Scott will still be alive to torture later. Have a nice day!!) 


	11. Inside the mind of an idiot

Disclaimer: AAAHHH IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD!!!! PLEASE GOD, BRING BACK EVO!!! (and while you're at it please fix the extreme evo site???)  
  
(AN: Yeah, I know that last chappy was a little harsh, but I was mad and I had lost sight of the PRIME DIRECTIVE (i.e.= To please the masses and otherwise torture and mangle Jott and completely destroy any plot lines made by the WB or anyone running the evo things.) so... yeah. Anywaaay, remember for all points and purposes Jott is still alive. Yup, I need somebody to torture. Sorry to anyone I offended. NOT that I care. Ok, yup, on with the story. Oh yeah, insert eeeevil laughter Oh and MUCH GREETINGS to my friends here. HIIII!)  
  
Scott and Jean walked in arm in arm and otherwise making out. Just then Bobby walked in.  
  
=BOBBY'S POV, WITH MY COMMENTARY,(PREPARE FOR LOTSA EXTRA SPACE IN HIS EMPTY MIND) IN= 3  
  
2  
  
1  
  
So I sit down and everbody's looking at me. Smooth with the ladies, that's me. Smooth with the guys too. Why do you think I sang "all things just keep getting better" instead of some other song. (Actually, he was going to sing "I'm too sexy" but that didn't work out since Scott sang it.)  
  
So I'm sitting there. Yup, just sitting there. Then Rogue storms in. Whoo, baby, she is smokin'. (Waaaaay out of your league Bobby. BN:Hey, I resent that remark! AN:No, you resemble it.) Aaaanyway, I watched her shake that be-a-utiful booty across the room. She was mad, though, so I didn't try to use one of my lame pick-up lines on her. (Ok, if you know they're lame, why do you use them? BN: winks and generally looks stupid AN: Okaaaaay, then. That was truly awful.)  
  
Rogue pulled out that little portable dry-erase "tell-your-bandmates-what- to-do" board (patent pending) that she's always carrying around. She scribbled a few things on it, all the while looking really hot. (Remember, this is NOT my narrative anymore!)  
  
"Ok, guys, we need to get ready for the Battle Of the Bands." She flipped out a little pointer thingy (Could you use the word "thingy" any more? BN: Well, duh! Thingy thing thingy!!! Ahahaha!! AN:Oooook, note to self, STAY AWAY FROM BOBBY. BN:You do know I'm standing right here? AN:Well, yeah, but SO?) and started pointing at thingys on the thing and talking. As soon as she started talking, I instantly slumped into a stupor.  
  
"ahhhhh," I mumbled. "ahhhhhhhhhh". Drool trailed from my mouth as I bleahed my way out of this world and into the next. (Ok, we should just slip back to my narrative now. Bobby's brain and self is currently MIA. Wait, his brain was always like that.)  
  
=BACK TO MY NARRATIVE=  
  
Rogue discussed strategies for winning the Battle Of the Bands laaaate into the night.  
  
She bored just about everybody into a stupor after about the third hour. (Except for Remy, of course.)  
  
So that's where we'll leave them for now, as I yawn don't want to be bored into a stupor myself. Bye all! 


	12. Inside the mind of a pyromaniac

Disclaimer: Right now, all I own are some chips. Yum.  
  
(An: Ok, sorry it took me so long to update, but the statement in "eww, revolting slime" stands. I was grounded. Ok, following in the POV thing I've been doing, this is from John's POV. Before I delve into this, please allow me to say that I am not: nuts, a Pyro hater, or criminally insane. I just like playing with Pyro's char. He's fun! Aaanyway, here it is! insert pyromaniacal laughter Oh, and I don't hate Bobby, I just like playing with him. Also, I think he's an idiot.)  
  
=Pyro's POV (prepare for much nuts-ness and such) IN=  
  
3  
  
2  
  
1  
  
=BLAST OFF!!=  
  
So I walk in the room. That traitor dude, Collosus, is sitting on the couch. I'm still mad at him for that whole "bangin' sheila" incident. He's sitting there, and as soon as he spots me, he runs off like someone lit a fire under him. Damn, why couldn't that be me?  
  
So the reason I was in the room was cause Rogue had called another band meeting. This time we were gonna work on the songs for the BOB, as Rogue had christened it. Rogue walked in and plugged in her guitar.  
  
"Ok guys. We're gonna do "shut up", "Haunted", and one new one. We're covering "Disease" by Matchbox 20." She passed out the sheet music and counted off.  
  
Now, not to brag bout my skills or nothing, but I am really good at the drums. I picked up the beat almost instantly. I looked over at Kurt, who was keeping the beat with his tail and doing his part as well. Showoff. The song was pretty simple, so we picked it up almost right away and pretty soon were jamming.  
  
After we finished the song, Rogue stood up suddenly.  
  
"I forgot something." She went over and zapped Jean and Scott. She grinned wickedly. After we practiced all our songs, she ended the meeting.  
  
I went outside to have a smoke right, and then I saw it. A fire. Right downtown. Damn convient. So, real quick like, I change into my Pyro costume. The transformation was complete!!! insert more pyromaniacal laughter  
  
So I run and I run and I run in the direction of the fire. Of course, at the time, I didn't know Rogue was following me.  
  
(an: Ok, I would just like to state here that I am not much of a Ryro fan. I like the fics and junk, but really I'm much more of a Romy fan. So I am going to avoid the subject as much as possible, but I'll leave you to insinuate what you want.)  
  
I finally arrived at the fire. Already those stupid cops were there. Totally a downer on my fun. So I borrowed a little fire from the burning building and sent a flame kitty to destroy them. Feeling somewhat empowered, I continued. I walked right up to the blaze, loving the feeling of all that heat. I started destroying the fire fighters one by one, watching them buuuurrrn. Ahh, I felt so good right then.  
  
Just then Rogue zapped me, and everything went black. Man, that sucked!  
  
=Rogue's POV=  
  
So Ah zap the little bugger Pyro, and instantly his pysche started railing me to continue destroying the town. Ah ignored it and started gathering ahl the loose flame into a pahl. Eventually there wasn't any left, and Ah just sent it all into the lake.  
  
Ah walked home, enjoying the fact that Pyro's psyche was nowhere near as perverted as Scott's. Ah made light conversation with Pyro's psyche until it faded. Ah grinned, knowing how much trouble he would be in once he got home, or even there if some more cops showed up.  
  
(Ok, so that was the minds of both the pyromaniac and the Rogue. I don't really think that was too funny though. Oh sadness.) 


	13. Third person POV and some romyness

Disclaimer: Aah, who cares anyway?  
  
(An: Ah yes, normalcy. Cool word, no?)  
  
=REGULAR NARRATOR'S POV=  
  
Rogue walked home, a pleasant happiness buzzing in her head. Today had been a good day. She'd gotten her band together, she had thwarted Pyro's plans, and she'd had a nice little chat with his psyche. Everything was good with her band, as long as Pyro only got a day in jail. She smiled.  
  
As she walked into the mansion, she was bombarded with questions from everybody about Pyro and the like. Remy, hoping that she would be disoriented by all the attention, asked her out, but as usual she was shot down like a one winged duck. "It was the usual. Y'all know, going on a rampage, frying some police, killing poor Mr. 'hey you, with the donut.' Y'know, same ole, same ole.  
  
(Ok, I've managed to fit Romy-ness in "tree girl", so here I go...)  
  
The group disbanded and Rogue headed back to her room. Remy walked down the hallway, feeling sad. The sting of rejection was not as strong as it used to be, since he was used to it.  
  
He felt sad. "Well, there's always the fabled fifth season," said Remy to himself. (Poor Evo Rems doesn't have a chance with Rogue. It's sad, really.) "There's always the comic me, at least."  
  
He blinked himself out of his reverie and found himself in front of Rogue's door. "Always here, always. Let a girl get under your skin and you'll never stop."  
  
Rogue opened her door suddenly, and, of course, smacked right into Remy.  
  
"Get outa here Swamp rat!", said Rogue, bitchy as usual. Remy didn't even mention the fact that he'd just been standing there. He was depressed by this. (Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Get a fic!" But I'll make this worth your while. I'll... I'll.. I know! I'll write a Romy fic with lots of humor and then I'll shut up about the matter forever. How about that?)  
  
She pushed past him and didn't say anything else.  
  
Remy sighed and retreated to her room, feeling very sorry for herself.  
  
(So that was my little bit of Romy-ness. Sorrs to anybody who doesn't like Romy. I think that would be John. Thatsa about it. .:hee hee:. That chappy wasn't very funny though, was it?) 


	14. The Transition to the BOB!

Disclaimer: Riiiiiiight, then.  
  
(AN: Ok,yeah, I'm not really sure what the point was of the last chappy, either, 'cept Kitty (me friendy) doesn't know what ROMY-NESS means. .:gasps of horror resound from all about:. Of course, Kitty's never really been into the X-men either, so... yeah. .:horrified gasping, again:. Scary, no? Soo, that was odd, I know. Not funny, either, I know. But, like I said, the permy markers kinda messed with my head. But I'm better now. .:grin:. Yeah, since you know my evil plans and stuff, I won't bother with dat. No point really. Is it scary that I think it's fun, though?)  
  
=1 WEEK LATER=  
  
I week after the strange events of the last few chappys, the X-men (the band, duh!) piled into the van, Scott's car,(If anyone's reading this who's seen it, have you noticed how much Scott's car looks like the main dude in A Walk to Remember? And has anyone else noticed how big that dudes forehead is?!? Sorry, injoke. I'll shut up now.) and any other useable vehicle within a 15 ft. radius. It was 6:00 at night, and everybody was about to leave for the .:deep, announcer-ish voice:. BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!  
  
So they all put their instruments in the van, and Scott, Wolvie (who was the adult supervision, and not too happy 'bout it, either), and (much to everyone's chagrin) Kitty drove off towards the BATTLE ARENA!! (any time I write in caps with two, count 'em, two, !!, that's the deep, announcer-ish voice, kay?)  
  
(Not that this has anything to do with anything, but, I wanna buy a new butt!!! I went running around town with my friends last night, and, ooh, is my butt sore. Yeah, ditto for this, but did you know a cop will pull over almost instantly if you can do evil, crazed laughter? Yeah, that happens to be one of my special skills. That and writing stupid fics.)  
  
So they drove off. When they arrived, they grabbed schedules. They looked like this: (ok, I'm going to fake it here and have all the bands have something to do with my reviewers!)  
  
"Daphine and the Diamond-ettes!" (o.m.g. Did I really just write that?)  
  
"The mint chip Pyromaniacs!" (Hee hee. Some of y'all might get it.)  
  
"I dream of Logan!" (Ya, I dunno what that is either.  
  
"Spazzin' out!" (Ditto.)  
  
The list went on like that for quite a while longer. Finally, "Hey guys, I found us!"  
  
# 53. on the list was "The X-men!"  
  
"Well, it seems we have quite a while to wait," said Rogue. "Ok, so let's do roll call. John?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Remy?"  
  
"Remy is always here for his chere," replied Remy.  
  
"Shut up. Jamie?"  
  
"HERE!", squealed several Jamies.  
  
"Scott and Jean?"  
  
"Mmmmph.." Jott was making out again.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes. Bobby?"  
  
"Here, baby!"  
  
"Ugh. Remember the restraining order, Iceman. Ray and Rob?"  
  
"HERE!", they chorused, then went back to trying to kill each other.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Amara?"  
  
"I have graced you all with my presence, yes."  
  
"I'm going to ignore that comment. Jubes?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Rahne?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Kitty?"  
  
"Like, here."  
  
"Kurt?.... Kurt?... Where's Kurt?"  
  
(Ok, all will be explained in the next chappy, "Kurt's mini adventure"! The poor fuzzboy hasn't had much say-so in my fic yet. But that is all about to change..) 


	15. Kurt's Mini Adventure!

Disclaimer: The only char I wanna own is Kurt. Him and maybe Wolvie, so I could get him to kill people 'stead of me. I'm running out of places to put the bodies.  
  
(AN: Ok, likes I said, I didn't get to put much Kurt in here. .:sniff:. That makes me sad. So, I decided to give him this! His very own chappy. Me sorrs, but me obsessed. Yes, and I intend to make this chappy funny. Since no one (cept John, and um, somebody else) came up with an idea for a band, your assignment is as follows: anybody who feels like it should promptly write a fic about my idea from Chappy 15, "Pyro's night on the town!!!", about Pyro and Rogue switching brains and everything.)  
  
=FAR AWAY FROM THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!=  
  
Kurt rubbed his head. "Where in the world am I?!?"  
  
This was most certainly not THE BATTLE ARENA!!, nor the X-mansion. "Lesee, what happened?"  
  
=FLASHBACK TO ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO=  
  
Back at the X-mansion, Kurt had been putting his drums in the X-van. (Jeez, Xavier sure is conceited. The X-men, the X-jet, the X-mansion, the X-van, the X-gene, blah blah blah. What next, the X-nation? The X-universe?!?!? Sorrs, obessesing. I'll shut up now.) Anyway, somehow, he got shoved into the trunk. He didn't know how, he wasn't sure. Then someone shut the trunk.  
  
"Help?Someone? Hello?" Not thinking to just port out, he banged on the trunk top. Bad idea. The top came open, but as the van was moving, he was propelled out of it and into the ditch by the side of the road. He had hit his head pretty hard, so he passed out.  
  
=END=  
  
(You're prolly wondering why the instruments didn't fall out. Well, it's a complicated math problem that I won't go into now. In laymen's terms, it was because Kurt, with his high metabolism, is very skinny, and with the combined weight of all the instruments on top of each other (which was pretty heavy) Kurt was the only thing light enough to fly out. OK?)  
  
"Well, I best start walking." So Kurt walked and walked and walked until he could bamf into town.  
  
(Now, I warn you. Lots of random things which have no real explanation are going to happen, so prepare yourselves. And prepare yours elves, too, now that I think about it, if you own a "mini blue elf" (patent pending.) like I do. Oh, and whenever you see this: .:squeaky:. it means I'm squeezing my Kurt doll. .:squeaky:. Oh, I'm so obsessed!!! Is that bad?)  
  
So, when Kurt bamfed into town, he was a bit disoriented. He was standing outside the movie theater, where a large line was gathered to see the mother of all comedy matinees: Shrek, Shrek 2, and The New Guy. (I wish that was showing in my town. That would be really cool!) So he got pushed into the theatre. He knew that if his band needed him, Jean, or Rogue with Jean's acquired .:ahem:. powers, would contact him. So no big. Kurt's reasoning was as such: Since the band wasn't calling him, and he hadn't had to pay for this, and since those were pretty much the (debatably) best comedy movies ever, he'd stay. No big. Right?  
  
Sooo, about 4 hours and 20 minutes later, about to the prison part in The New Guy, (You know: "Where's Paco?" .:shrug:. "I dunno?" "Step back! The new guy's mine! You lookin' at my Janet?!?" "No! No!" Yeah, I'm obsessed with that movie too. Sorrs! I'm starting to sound like Kitty now, always with the sorrys.) Kurt got kicked out for not having a ticket. A bit late to check, don't ya think?  
  
So after getting shoved rather forcefully out of the movie theater, Kurt was left to wander. Honestly, he had no idea where THE BATTLE ARENA!! was, so he had to wander, with no particular direction.  
  
"Wandering is no fun." So he started to walk, again. By now he was getting hungry, as he had had to walk so much in the past 6 hours, and also had had to sit through two movies smelling popcorn and other yummy things.  
  
=BLOCKS AWAY, THE BATTLE ARENA!!=  
  
The BOB had finally started and they were through "Spazzin' out!"'s performance. (See, all the bands would play all three songs that they were doing, two covers, and one original, and then it would move on. So it was going to take a while, considering that most of the rock bands were covering "stairway to heaven".)  
  
"Where's Kurt?", asked Rogue again. They'd been looking for Kurt for a while now, alternating looking for him and checking out the competion. Another reason it was taking so long was because they were skipping the middle man part, so directly after the band played, the audience would vote. (Daphine and the Diamond-ettes had been voted off. Does that make it any better?)  
  
"We, like, couldn't find him anywhere. He must've been left behind in all the hurry to get here.", said Kitty.  
  
"Ok," said Rogue. "Someone's got to go back to the mansion and look for him there. Who'll do it?" Jean timidly raised her hand.  
  
"Me 'n Scott'll do it."  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Whatever. Don't bother hurrying. We have lots of time."  
  
=BACK TO KURT= .:squeaky:.  
  
As Kurt walked by the park, he got an idea. He climbed a tree near a food stand, and switched off his inducer.  
  
The food stand was selling many yummy things, so lotsa people bought from it.  
  
When someone with a food item would walk past Kurt's tree, he would swing down, startle them, and "steal" their food.  
  
He got much through this fashion, and having sated his hunger, started wandering again.  
  
= JOTT AT THE INSTITUTE=  
  
So Jott, having taken Rogue's advice and driven slowly (all the better to make out with) back to the mansion.  
  
They walked in, and started yelling, "KURT!!! WHERE ARE YOU???"  
  
After about five minutes of this, the prof' came down, looking somewhat upset. He told Jott off for yelling so much, and asked them what they were yelling about.  
  
"Well, you see professor," said Scott. "We were looking for Kurt. We couldn't find him at the BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!" They all looked around wildly, trying to find the source of the deep,announcer-ish voice. "Um, anyway, we looked for about an hour and we couldn't find him, so Rogue sent us back here to look for us."  
  
The professor rubbed his very large forehead. (A Walk to Remember worthy large forehead) "So why didn't you just LOOK for him?!?"  
  
"Um, well, that never really occured to us. We just kind of thought he might bamf away if we did."  
  
"Arrgh," muttered the professor. "Why don't you try and contact him telepathically, Jean?"  
  
"Ok," said Jean, sounding cheerful. (Now these mean telepathy. For now anyway.) Oh Ku-urt!  
  
=FAR AWAY, IN BAYVILLE PARK=  
  
Kurt looked up, feeling rather guilty now about all that food. KURT!!!  
  
What do you want, Jean? He wanted her to shut up and get out of his head already!  
  
Where are you?  
  
Bayville Park. Rogue want's you to get to THE BATTLE ARENA!!  
  
How'd you do that deep announcer-ish voice?  
  
Dunno. The same thing happened to Scott earlier.  
  
Tell Rogue I'll get there A.S.A.P. NOW GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!  
  
Yeesh. Oh, and Scott says hi. Bye now!  
  
"Eurgh, she's so annoying."  
  
Of course, then he realized that Jean hadn't told him where THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS!! was, so he still couldn't go there.  
  
So he was forced to start walking again.  
  
Of course, being in the X-men and everything, nothing ever stayed quiet for long.  
  
He was just walking, not doing anything, when, outta nowhere, Pietro showed up.  
  
"Soblueboywassup?Feelinggoodfeelingfine?Good, good,butnowIhavetochangethat."  
  
"Ugh." Somehow, all the rest of the B-hood showed up. "Why now?"  
  
=MEANWHILE, AT THE BATTLE ARENA!!=  
  
Jott had finally returned from their little trip, and almost instantly Rogue began interrogating them. "Where. Is. Kurt?!?!?"  
  
Jean put on her happy face. "He's coming!"  
  
"When?!?"  
  
"Um, he said he would come as soon as possible."  
  
"Alright.."  
  
The BOB was now through the #47 band.  
  
=BACK TO KURT=  
  
.:squeaky:.  
  
Now, as you might have guessed, Kurt was in no mood to deal with the BoM right now. However, he didn't know this part of town well, so he couldn't just bamf out and be done with it.  
  
So he resorted to plan B. What is plan B, you ask?  
  
Plan B is as such: Run to save your Butt!!  
  
So Kurt ran, and ran, and ran. Finally, he managed to find a familiar part of town. But first:  
  
Kurt bamfed up to the top of a building and hoping that the BoM would be dumb enough to follow him, jumped for the next building. Thankfully, the BoM is a bunch of dunce-buckets, as we all know, so of course, they jumped, and fell.  
  
"Feeling fine?" Kurt jeered at them for a moment, hanging from a lampost, and then bamfed back to the ground.  
  
Now, since Kurt's mini adventure has just about spun itself out, Kurt saw a poster advertising THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!  
  
"Where is that coming from?!?"  
  
The adress on the poster wasn't too far away, so Kurt just bamfed himself right to it.  
  
=AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS=  
  
"WHERE IS KURT?!? We're up next!!!"  
  
.:bamf:.  
  
"Well, did I make it?"  
  
(What happens next is Rogue rails on Kurt until their turn. I'll skip it, as I'd just have to censor it anyway.)  
  
(Well, that was Kurt's mini adventure!) 


	16. The BOB! At last!

Disclaimer: La de da. (Yeah, I'm still in dreamland. I seed DANTE!!! omg, he's so cute!!!) Oh, this is the disclaimer. Right. I don't own Marvel. YET.  
  
(AN: Annywaaaay, yeah. What is dis, with the reviewers begging me to update????? I'm becoming more regs now!! Aaaargh. You know why the British (in gens, not in spefs, cause Clover and Di and Mayleen are all Brits, wehay) suck? BECAUSE HP'S ALREADY OUT THERE!!! I'VE GOTTA WAIT TIL FRIDAAAAAY!!! .:sobs:. .:brightens:. But, I gets to sees it with all me mates!!! YAAAAY!!! (You see, I've had sugar today. That's about as bad for me as anything edible with a c in it (like coffee, hot chocs (sorrs, I can't member what that stuffs called) and choc in gens) is for Clover. AND THERE'S ONLY 2 AND A HALF DAYS OF SCHOOL!!!!! WEHAY!!!!! (Yeah, mayleen, I'm borrowing that for the day!!) Sorrs but all that combined is affecting me like wine or something because I am really hyper and it's prolly not good for me, but who cares???? (See it's so bad that I'm blathering even in my notes. Sorrs!!!) Yeah, and I just noticed how long my AN is so I'll shut up now!!! .:INSERT REALLY LOUD HYPER, CRAZY, ECT., ECT. LAUGHTER:.)  
  
=RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF, BACKSTAGE AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS!=  
  
(Um, sorrs, I swear, this is my last AN before the story, but I just had a s'more with extra choc, and, um, I'm having a soda, AND fear factors on. So, I can't promise this'll make complete sense. Sorrs!!)  
  
After railing on Kurt until it was almost their turn, Rogue felt very good about herself. Now all she had to do was put the same amount of feeling into her pep talk to the band. "Ok guys, this is it. We've been preparing for this for weeks (I think so, anyway... .:flips furiously through plot line:. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's weeks.) and I am absolutely positive that we are ready for this!!! We have practiced and practiced, and I repeat, WE ARE READY!!!! Now, we are gonna go out there and win!!!!"  
  
Everyone in the band cheered. It wasn't much of a pep talk, but it was enough. (Yeah, I suck at inspiring ANYTHING, so there you have it. Hey, at least I'm honest.)  
  
A nervous looking man with a clipboard walked up to them. He didn't look very happy, judging by the numerous nervous tics going on his face, and the whole sweating like a..a.. a really sweaty person thing. "You're the X-men right?" Rogue nodded.  
  
"That's my band, all right."  
  
"You're up next, right, and your order is this," he shoved a piece of paper in Rogue's hands," Goodluck,haveaniceday,playwell,breakaleg, etc,etc." He said all of this very fast (especially the last bit) and walked away, shooting apprehensive looks at the lot.  
  
"Ah suppose he heard we're all mutants, then."  
  
There was loud applause as the last band before them finished playing. There was a loud beeping as the computers tabulated (I've always wanted to use that word, and here's my chance!! Wehay!!) the votes. A large sign made from colored lights appeared on stage. 75% said to stay.  
  
A smarmy, skuzzy looking guy walked on stage. In a very condescending voice he said, "Well, it appears that this band is still in the running!!! Next up: Please welcome the X-men! They will be performing, in this order, :"Disease", by Matchbox 20, "Haunted", by Evanescence, and an original song, "Shut up", written by, um, Rogue! I repeat, please welcome the X- men!!!"  
  
Everyone rushed into place and began running through the music in their head. There was a creaky noise as the curtain went up and..  
  
"1, 2, 3, go!", shouted Rogue.  
  
The band began playing like they'd never played before. (I'm listening to the song right now, so I might as well just write the chorus out.)  
  
"I've got a disease Deep inside me Makes me feel uneasy baby I can't live without you Tell me what am I supposed to do about it Keep your distance from me; don't pay no attention to me I've got a disease Well I think that I'm sick But leave me be while my world is coming down on me You taste like honey honey Tell me can I be your honey Keep tellin' myself that it won't take long until I'm free of my disease"  
  
They got uproarious applause for that, and then the freaky skuzzy host dud came back and started talking again, something about "cast your votes only if you're sure you're ready" or some crap like that. He gestured, and the band started playing again.  
  
After playing "Haunted" really, really well, (I can't remember the lyrics right now so I'm not gonna bother) the skuzzy dude came back and said basically the same thing and left again.  
  
Then the band started playing the intro to "Shut up". Rogue came up to the mic. There were catcalls from the horny, hopeless guys in the front row, and then she started singing.  
  
"I'm just another face in the crowd, Like everyone else, FAITHLESS.." and so on. (Not that that isn't a lovely fic, it's just, I already typed that up and I'm lazy..)  
  
Everyone did shut up. There was just the sound of crickets from the audience, and then, "Woo hoo yeah!!!!! Awesome!!" (That was the typical response, anyway.)  
  
Nervous, everyone in the band watched the audience. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  
  
The skuzzy host dude came back and said some skuzzy things that were ignored, until, "Well, the judges appear to be done deciding. Let's have the results!"  
  
The colored light sign came down again, and... "98%!!! Great job done by the X-men!!! They're most definitely staying!!!"  
  
The reaction was electric. All of the band dropped their instruments and started doing little glee hops, whooping, yelling, and celebrating in gens. Rogue was even kind enough to allow one celebratory kiss to Remy. (Aaaaww.)  
  
After 47 more bands played, the skuzzy host dude came out and started talking again. "Well, it appears we have narrowed the field down from 100 entrants to only 15! So we'll begin the semi-finals NOW!" He clapped his hands and a large sign came up, listing the current standings.  
  
15: (Erm, ah, now I have to think. Darn!!!) "The mint chip Pyromaniacs!!"  
  
14: "Spazzin' out!"  
  
13: "I Dream of Logan!"  
  
12: "Sideways Glances"  
  
11: "The Abso-bloody-lutely Idiots!!"  
  
10: "The A-hood!"  
  
9: "The Sacred Followers of the Potato Chip George!"  
  
8: "The Worshipers of the Conscretated Carrot!" (Yeah, those last two are injokes between me and my idiot mates.. Sorrs if you don't get it..)  
  
7: "Welcome To Paradicium!"  
  
6: "Tabby-cat and the Boom-Boom's!" (Sorrs, Tabby is another char I like playing with.)  
  
5: "The Complete Wackjobs!" (That's my band! .:hee hee:.)  
  
4: "Extreme Evolution!" (Tee hee, I'm trying to bribe y'all)  
  
3:"Daphine and the Diamond-ettes!" (Ditto)  
  
2: "In Denial!"  
  
1: "The X-band!!!"  
  
=5 MINUTES LATER, BACKSTAGE=  
  
All the remaining bands had finally shut up and they were calm again. The skuzzy host dude had exited after announcing the bands.(Something about buying really powerful earplugs; his last set had blown out with all the cheering.)  
  
So after a few more minutes of waiting, the skuzzy host dude came back. (From now on, we'll just call him Skuzzy.) "Well, folks, thanks for waiting, sorry for the delay, but I needed proper protection for my ears. Anyway, we're going to get right to it." He paused, listening to the mini- mic in his ear. "There's been a change of plans! Since it took so long to get through all that, we're heading straight into the finals-finals! You know the deal! Any band 50% or under is booted, and any band over 50% stays! After the initial voting round, the judges will narrow down the field to two, in which the audience will pick the MASTER BAND! We'll begin right.. NOW!!"  
  
All the bands played. Numbers 2, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, and 14 got booted. So that meant numbers 1, 3, 4, 7, 11, and 15 all stayed.  
  
The judges deliberated, and in the end, numbers 1 and 15 stayed. A.K.A., the X-men and the Mint-chip Pyromaniacs! (that's my nickname, btw. Completely random thing. If you happen to be reading this, hi Blue Anchovy! (injoke, sorrs)  
  
So, duh, our fav band won!! Wehay!!  
  
(Ok, short chappy, I know, but next chappy features the after party. You know what that means: Kareoke! Wehay! Fun, no? Suggest whatever you wanna see happen. Oh, and don't worry, I will have Remy sing Iris! I love that song!) 


	17. The Afterparty!

Disclaimer: AHAHAHA!!! I OWN NOOOOOOTHING!!!!  
  
(An: .:grins nastily:. I'm not sorry at ALL for a fake chappy, 'cause I don't care!!! .:laughs evilly and roasts Marshmallow:. Ahaha!!! (Marshmallow is my next door neighbors dog. Nasty, yappy thing. .:grins as Marsmallow buuuuurns!!:.) Tee hee. Well, Clover got more spefs, so I counted that, since no one else seems willing to review. This chappy will feature three things: Cheap alcohol, torture, and randomness! .:more evil laughter:. Just be glad I haven't figured out how to attach sound clips to this yet.. .:still more evil laughter:.)  
  
=AT THE INSTITUTE=  
  
It was chaos, even more than usual, at the Xavier institute. There was a mad rush as people ran around trying to get to the beer. "There's beer, there's beer!" shouted Remy as he ran around holding several cans and a bottle of burbon.(heh heh) "Finally, I can drink and not get thrown against a wall and get called 'Gumbo'. Speaking of Gumbo I wonder if there's any in the fridge.." He dashed off to check, pausing only to look for Rogue, who was, strangely enough, nowhere to be found. But neither, not that Remy cared, or anybody, for that matter, was Scott or Jean.  
  
=MILES AND MILES UNDERGROUND, ROGUE'S SECRET JOTT TORTURING FACILITY=  
  
Rogue was laughing evilly. .:insert southern accented eeeeeeeevil laughter:. She was also running around like a maniac. "Ahahahahahhah!!!! You will diiiiee! You will DIIIIEEEEE! YOU WILL DIIIEEEIIIIEIEEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!!!!!"  
  
Scott spat on the ground. "I always knew you were a traiterous bitch!"  
  
Rogue stopped running in mid-step. "OooooOOOOooooh!(That was one of those things when when someone says "OOOOH!" but they go from low to high still saying it.. Did that make any sense? Oh, and before you start asking awkward questions, Rogue is drunk, and finally has the courage to do something she's wanted to do for a looooong time now: Kill and otherwise completely obliterate Jott from the face of the earth!) Scotty said a baaaad word! Now I finally have a reason to torture him! Oh joy!" She started running again, runnin' and runnin' and runnin'! (Pietro's note: Did she still have some of my persona or something? An: Sorry Pietro, she's drunk. No luck there. Pyro's note: What about MY persona? An: Pyro, she's running around. NOT burning things. Oh, while I'm on the subject, yes, I do own a mini-pyromaniac. And I have more than one! AHAHAHA! Just review me if you want one! The mini-speed demon I just keep around so my mini-scarlet b can have someone to torture. .:grins:.)  
  
So after running around like a maniac (or Pietro, but same difference!) Rogue finally calmed down. No wait, she just sobered slightly. Bad. So she grabbed another beer and drank it. It was very hot in the underground chamber, since Rogue had gotten Magma to pull up some lava into it.  
  
She had Jott tied up on the ground, close together, but just far apart enough so they couldn't kiss or do anything of that nature really. She had also grabbed a thingy from the professors office that negated powers. (Later she was planning to use it to its fullest. Hey, I said I was a Romy fan! .:shoos Pietro and Pyro away:. Sorry alla you Rietro and Ryro fans, but now I just wanna get on with the story. I'd pull out my mini-swamp rat, but I think he's, er, "playing" with the mini-untouchable one, if you catch my drift.)  
  
She grabbed another beer, drained it, and began speaking in a slurred voice.  
  
(Now, I am going to pull out an old and dusty plot device: (The author would like to state that she neither likes nor supports this plot device, so please refrain from killing her) .:creak:. See? It's so old it creaks! It's the "Rogue likes Scott" plot device! .:Romy fans and the author slowly back away, and then abandon all pretense and run like hell!:. Hey wait, I'm the author! I can't leave! Oops. .:laughs nervously:. Stay back! Stay back! .:holds Remy up like a shield:. Stay back or the Gambit gets it! .:Romy fans stop attacking, for fear of killing mini-swamp rat:. .:laughs like a maniac:. Ahem, anyway, Rogue is just going to use this to validate her killing and otherwise obliterating Jott. Ok?)  
  
"Scott, dahlin'," she kicked the prostrate forms on the ground, "why did you do it? Ah'm way ovah ya, sugah, but that doan mean Ah doan care 'bout ya!" Scott tilted his head up at Rogue. He was trying to give her a questioning look, but since he was blinfolded and gagged, you really couldn't tell. "Ya doan know what Ah'm talkin' 'bout, do ya, sugah?" Scott shook his head. (I would like to mention now that Rogue is walking the line between "drunk""smashed". With one more beer, or that bottle of burbon (heh heh) Remy's got, she'd prolly go to the "smashed" side. But right now, she's still on the "drunk" side. But, her accents much more pronounced than usual. So, ya.) "Now dat's pathetic. Y'all have no idea what you've done wrong. How could ya, Scotty? How could you go out with, even LOVE this.. this.. this.. BITCH?!?"  
  
This was just too much for Scott. He leaped at her, or tried to, anyway. He could've been trying to do the timewarp, for all we know, and for all it accomplished. He also started lecturing her through his gag, or tried to, anyway. He could've been singing the timewarp song, for all we know, and for all it accomplished. (Yes, I did make those sentences alike on purpouse. Really.)  
  
Rogue stopped running. (Yes, she had been running all this time.) She reached for another beer, and got an unpleasant surprise. There wasn't any left! Now she was reeeeeally mad! "That's it!" She had sobered slightly, which in her book, was bad. She turned on a tape of Marylin Manson's "Tainted Love". She grabbed a few pokers that had been warming in the lava. She grabbed some.. Tasty Tofu Treats?!? "No more Ms. Nice Rogue!"  
  
=UPSTAIRS, IN THE KITCHEN=  
  
"Has anyone seen my Tasty Tofu Treats? Or my muffins?" asked Kitty. (Heh heh Cloves I'm gonna use some of your ideas from your story, which I finally finished reading.)  
  
=BACK TO ROGUE'S TORTURE FACILITY=  
  
While Rogue was busy preparing the essentials for a torture session of such magnitude, Jean and Scott began inching away like little rope-bound scarred- for-life cattipillars. Scott mumbled something through his gag that essentially sounded like "inch for your life!!!!" and they began inching like they'd never inched before. However, cattipillars, as you might know, aren't very fast.  
  
Just then Rogue turned around. She had two red hot pokers in her hands, so she looked quite scary. They were casting an eeeeery light on her face that made her look scarier than before. "And just where do you think you're going?!?"  
  
Jean and Scott gave each other horrified looks (more or less) and began inching like crazy. Scott appeared to be saying, "inchinchinchinchinch" but who could tell?  
  
"Well?!? Oh wait, I forgot, you can't talk!!! .:laughs evilly:. Hey Jean, do you know what time it is?" Jean stops inching so she can use her brain, then realizes that she's not wearing a watch and even if she was, she wouldn't be able to look at it anyway. "It's torture time!!!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!!"  
  
Jean and Scott looked at each other, terrified again. They stopped inching and instead attempted to cower next to each other. They screamed, which was audible even with their gags.  
  
"Oh shut up!" yelled Rogue. "You two really are idiots, aren't you?" Jott just stared at her. (Because I am a very lazy person, from now on Jean and Scott will be referred to as a single entity: Jott. Got it?) "I thought so. So, Scott, are you willing to forever renounce your love for Jean and say that I've been right all along and that she is a selfish biatch?"  
  
Scott glared at her.  
  
"Alright then Scotty boy, now it's time to pay the price." Rogue turned off the power negater, without letting Jott see, of course, and she carefully drained both of them. She put them on a table, which she raised to the ceiling. She levitated herself up and strapped them both to the ceiling so they were hanging upside down. She then pulled off their gags.  
  
"AAAAHHH!!! THE BLOOD IS RUSHING TO MY HEAD!!! THE PAIN!!! HAAAALLLLPPP!! PROFESSOR!!! LOOOOOOOGAN!! MOOOOMMMMY!! SOOOOMMEOOOOONE!!!" This was Jott screaming of course, not Rogue. Rogue smiled sweetly and used her TK to shut them up. She then (with much effort;those things are heavy! Kitty's muffins, not the tofu) lifted up a plate that had three things on it: The Tasty Tofu Treats, Kitty's muffins, and the stereo still blasting tainted love, over and over and over!!! AAHHHH!! Seriously, that's enough to drive anyone crazy!  
  
Rogue set the plate on the platform and smiled sweetly at Scott. "Scotty, I'm going to be nice, since Ah'm in a good mood today. Ah'll give you one more chance to renounce Jean!Bitch, or... Well, we'll all be a lot better off if you do.. Especially poor Jeanie... And remember, Ah can tell if you're lying!" she said in a sing-songy way. She smiled, and made an unzipping motion in the air.  
  
Scott blinked, and shouted, "I LOVE JEAN!" Now, in other circumstances, and p'raps with a different author, Rogue would find this touching and let them go. But, as you know, I am the all-powerful Skysong, and I LIVE to torture Jott.  
  
So, Rogue just sighed. The sugar-sweet smile dropped from her face. She reached for a muffin. "Scotty, Scotty, Scotty. .:sigh:. Ah would've let ya go. Ah would've. But now..," her face took on an eery cast and she shoved the muffin into Jean's mouth, "Well, now it's just too late!" She cackled madly and grinned as Jean started to choke on the muffin. ('Member, this is KITTY'S cooking, the kind of muffin that dents the floor with every bounce. Thanks for the ideas Clover!! You take torture to a whole new level!) "Ah ah ah! (She's doing 'waggling finger' ah-ing, she's not saying 'I'.) No dieing, YET!" She pulled a few muffin pieces out of her mouth and forced Jean to swallow the rest. "Isn't that tasty?!?"  
  
Terrified, Jean shook her head. "You BITCH!" shouted Scott.  
  
"Oh, Ah forgot to shut you up, didn't Ah? Silly meh, gettin' overexcited at a tahme like this!" She made a zipping motion with her hand. (For anyone who's seen the movie "Spirited Away", it's what Yubaba used to shut Sen up. If you haven't, well then.. WHY IN THE NAME OF (gotta call on something we all have in common) ROMY HAVEN'T YOU????)  
  
Scott tried to say something, but of course nothing happened.  
  
(Ooook, here goes nothing. Really. .:Sighs:. I'm just gonna summarize it, cuz if I drag this on any longer, you all will kill me.)  
  
Due to my stupid censors, I am not allowed to tell you in detail what happened. Too much red tape.  
  
Aaaanyway, basically, what happened was such: Rogue tortured Jean with all sorts of things, like: A) red hot pokers, B) Red hot poking 'round in her mind for once, C) making her eat absolutely awful food and such, D) cutting off all of her hair, and E), making her listen to "Tainted Love" over and over and over.  
  
Finally she just got bored and a bit more sober and shoved her into the burning lave below.  
  
"JEEEEEAAAAAAAN!!!! NNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"  
  
"Ah though Ah shut you up!"  
  
=A FEW MINUTES LATER, BACK AT THE AFTERPARTY=  
  
The beer had been more or less drank, and the newbies had more or less passed out. Kurt and Logan were sitting in the corner singing German drinking songs, and Gambit was eating gumbo and throwing Mardi Gras beads at them. (Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras! Sorrs, but a friend of mine gave me some. I like 'em muchly! .:dances away, still singing "mardi Gras" over and over:.)  
  
"I am King Baccus! Bow to me!!" said Remy. He was very, very, VERY drunk, even drunker than Rogue. (I've been doing my research. King Bacchus is a dude who stands on a parade float and throws all those nice beady necklaces at Mardi Gras. .:shrugs:. Doan kill me for being stereotypical! Mardi Gras is fun and I doan know why none of the Romy writers have written 'bout it! .:gets pelted with fruit:.)  
  
Speaking of Rogue, she came walking up the stairs, holding someone in her arms. It was Scott, stripped down to his jockies. (Yes, he wears jockies. .:shudders:.)  
  
Rogue stuck him to a pole that was propped up against the wall, so he was hanging like a scarecrow. She then took one of the leftover pokers and singed his shorts (and what was in 'em) off.  
  
She still had the gag on him though, so no one could hear him scream. (In the X-mansion, no one can hear you scream. Or at least, will pay any attention.) Gambit walked over to her, with the bottle of burbon, and grinned drunkenly at her. "So cherie havin' fun?"  
  
She glanced over at Scott, who was still whimpering (figuratively at least, since he wasn't making any sound) and grinned. "Oh yeah. Ah'm having fun, definitely."  
  
"Dat's great. Wan' some beads?" He didn't wait for a response, just draped some around her neck.  
  
"Where'd you get these?" she asked, holding them up to the light. (Ooooooh, shiny!)  
  
"What do y'tink, Roguey?"  
  
"You stole 'em, didn't you." It wasn't a question.  
  
"Cherie so smart! Would she like a prize?"  
  
"Which would be?"  
  
"Mo' beads and a bottle o' burbon, o' course!"  
  
"Sounds great." She pulled out a little black box. (Did I forget to mention what the power negater looked like?)  
  
"What's dat?"  
  
She pressed a button on it and took off her glove. Gambit's eyes widened in fear. He backed off a little bit as Rogue reached out and slapped him on the cheek. (HIS FACE!)  
  
"Ah've been wanting to do that for the longest time."  
  
"Y'didn't answer my question." said Remy, not getting the point.  
  
"It's a power negater, smart one!"  
  
Gambit's eyes widened more. "Oooooh, well now DAT changes everything.."  
  
(So that was that , ok? If you need more of a clue, "Bigger and better things" might help. .:grins:. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!!) 


	18. Final Thoughts

Disclaimer: AHAHAHA!!! I OWN NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!!  
  
(An: Well, the kareoke idea er, didn't work out. .:gets fruit thrown at her but uses mayleen's board to defend herself:. Back! Back! Throwing things at ppl isn't very nice. .:crowd holds up rotten tomatoes:. EW! All right, all right!!! I'll make it into a one-shot!!!! .:hides behind Remy:. Ok! So this is the last chappie! Doan look for a sequel; unless I go completely mad there won't be one!! But look for much more madness-themed humor section crap! .:insert evil laughter:.)  
  
=THE NEXT DAY=  
  
It was chaos as usual (well, mebbe more then usual) at the X-institute.  
  
Most've the people in the band were recovering from a hangover (or were still suffering from it) so they weren't zactly as aware as they could be.  
  
But that didn't mean they didn't understand the prof's announcement.  
  
He summoned the entire group to his study. It was VERY crowded in there.  
  
"I am sorry to announce that I must break up the so-called 'X-band'."  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" yelled several people who were awake enough to realize the implications of this, Rogue being the loudest one.  
  
The professor pulled down a chart. He grabbed a "pointer-stick" (patented by my teach Mr. Tomlin grins) and tapped it several times. It was a graph, with a steadily down going line on it.  
  
"As you can see by this chart, the X-band has no determitable profit."  
  
"But professor, we won the BOB!! What about that?" asked Rogue, determined to save her band.  
  
"That had no prize, just a possible record deal, which was called off when it was discovered you were all mutants. The X-band, although fun and distracting, is hereby disbanded. You may keep your instruments though."  
  
"But-"  
  
"THE X-BAND IS DEAD! THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT!"  
  
You wanna see what everyone thought of this? Ok!  
  
Logan: 'Thank you god!!! My ears are saved!! We all live in a yellow submarine! We all live in a yellow submarine!'  
  
Storm: '.:sigh:. Now I'll have to re-assume the position of dauntless-rigid- leader-type person. No more drinking with Logan. Damn!'  
  
Beast: 'What is everyone complaining about again?' (after all, he really wasn't featured in this story.)  
  
Scott: '.:sob sob, cry cry:. No more pokin' round in Rogue's head! AND JEAN'S DEAD!!!! .:sob sob sob:.'  
  
Bobby: 'I'm too sexy for my brain... I'm too sexy for this band.. I wonder if Rogue'll go out with me in the aftermath of this...'  
  
Sam: 'Oh well. It's not I was in this much anyway. Maybe skysong will be nice and put me in with Rahne... .:drools:.' (Ack! He knows too much! .:slaps duck tape over his mouth and drags him away:.)  
  
Rogue: 'Ah cannot BELIEVE the prof' is doing this!!'  
  
Amara: 'I wonder if my hair looks alright.'  
  
Jubes: 'I guess this means no more drinking with Logan and 'Roro.'  
  
Rahne: 'My pack seems upset. This is bad. Maybe if I murder the professor...'  
  
Kurt: 'Amanda. Yummmmmmy. Too bad she's my adoptive sister. Wait, was that comic-verse? I'm confused.. Amanda... Yum.' (Bad Kurt! .:grabs him and drags him away:.)  
  
Pyro: (Do you really have to ask? Oh all right..) 'BURN BURN BUUUUUUURN!!! .:evil laughter:.' (Well, that was a surprise. .:bursts out laughing:. Yeah right! Poor Pyro's so predictable.)  
  
Jamie: '.:elevator music:.'  
  
Ray: 'Give me a reason! Give me a reason and I'll do it!'  
  
Rob: 'Give me a reason! Give me a reason and I'll do it!'  
  
Remy: '.:moan:. .:sigh:. Ohhhh Roguey.. .:censored:.'  
  
Kitty: 'Like, like like that is SO totally unfair! Like!' (Kitty's battle cry: Like, fear me!)  
  
Professor: 'La de da.. Ponies and bunnies are all very nice but I like my girls with less sugar then spi- Wait! I'm the professor! You can't read MY mind! Go away!'  
  
(I suppose we should listen to him. Well, that was the X-band! I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Peace, love, and randomness, Skysong!) 


End file.
